


Show me A Hero

by RoseDelSol



Series: Harry Potter Short Stories [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseDelSol/pseuds/RoseDelSol
Summary: There were not many things he was sure of throughout his life.The first was potions. The second was his undying love for one Lily Potter Evans.Thoughts about stengths and weaknesses, about success and failure. Thoughts of a dying man.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (Repost from Tumblr)
> 
> Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy – F. Scott Fitzgerald

There were not many things he was sure of throughout his life.

The first was potions. Never before, and never after, had Hogwarts seen a potion master like Severus Snape. The second thing was his undying love for one Lily Potter Evans.

While no one would doubt his skills with a kettle, teaching potions had never been what Severus wanted. If he was bound to be a teacher - and since Dumbledore was obliged to at least pretend to keep an eye on him after the Dark Lord fell - he always wanted to teach the Dark Arts.

While his potion skills were common knowledge his ability to create and invent new dark spells were not. And despite what Albus may have believed, Severus had no intention whatsoever to teach the students about these spells.

It was probably the fact that he had to convince the broader audience that he was indeed not a Death Eater, which prevented Albus from ever giving Severus the position as teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts. Maybe it was because Albus preferred his students to finish school without getting traumatized.  
Severus couldn’t deny that he was a firm believer of learning by doing that much was true. He believed that if you were to defend yourself against the Dark Arts, you had to get an actual idea of what you were dealing with.  
He had to admit - eventhough he would never so much a breath a word out loud about it - that Lupin did a pretty good job. Remus Lupin didn’t try to hide what was out there, and he taught his students how do defend themselves against it. It was essentially the same approach Severus would have chosen if ever given the chance.

In the end, he was denied to teach Defence against the Dark Arts so long he stopped believing he would ever see that particular classroom again - except as a visitor of course.  
When he was finally admitted the job, he soon understood it was not meant to be a long term employment. Albus had other plans, other ideas and ambitions. And maybe, just maybe it was for the best that Severus remained in Hogwarts after the Dark Lord had taken over the Ministry. Who was he kidding; of course it was for the best.  
Protecting the students to the best of his abilities without being found out was probably one of the riskiest things he had ever done. Including lying to the Dark Lord’s face. There was that one incident when he had though it was all over - stupid little Luna Lovegood had gotten a little reckless when trying to save one of the first years from Carrow-detention. It would have gone spectacularly wrong, if Severus hadn’t grabbed her by the collar and dragged her into a small niche behind an armour, dead-scared first year included.  
Severus clapped a hand over her mouth, while he pressed the first year’s face into her robes. He somehow knew Miss Lovegood wouldn’t rat him out, but there was no guarantee for the first year - particularly not if he ended in detention with the Carrows.

Yes, Severus Snape was a great potion master, however all that came after his employment as one, was a story to be twisted by lies into an unrecognisable disaster.

 

The second thing he had always been sure about was his love for Lily Potter, and it was an even more frustrating and fruitless story as his struggle to teach Defence against the Dark Arts.  
Because he had become teacher against the Dark Arts, and he had never been more than a friend for Lily Evans. Sometimes in his darkest hours even Severus wondered if Lily had deserved his love and devotion on the level he offered her.  
Severus loved her, would always love her, no matter how much time would pass since their teenage years, not matter whether she deserved it or not. He loved her with all his heart, his soul, with the very magic that defined him.

He loved her, adored her, admired her. But she never loved him back, not the way he so desperately wanted her to. Maybe in the end that was his biggest failure, to be unable to move on, unable to understand that his love for her was not good for him.  
His despair to find acceptance somewhere (if not in her loving embrace) had let to him first joining a group of Slytherins that later became the inner circle of Death Eathers. Severus would never blame Lily for his decisions, he knew better than that. It was his own weakness, his inability to overlook her feelings for this pompous ass that was James Potter and Entourage that made him join the Dark Lord. Never, never was it Lily’s fault.

But now, lying on the cold, hard wood his live trickling out of him Severus wondered. He wondered if his life would have been different if he had been able to love beyond Lily Evans. If he would have allowed himself to find someone who would accept him as he was - a man walking the shadows of the world, always a little too close to the Dark Arts to be quite accepted by the broader society.  
He didn’t need forgiveness for his crimes. Becoming a Death Eater had been extraordinarily stupid on his part. What he would have needed - so Severus mused in his last moments - would have been someone to accept his darker side, without overlooking the light that was there too.

Lily Evens, in all her radiant perfect, just glory had never been able to accept his shadows. Severus had glorified her, just as Potter had glorified his father.  
Somehow, Severus thought, he had put her out of his own reach by himself. And she had let him. If there was one thing he could blame on her it was that. The fact that she had let him push her away without so much as asking for a reason.  
Oh she asked for reasons for his actions, asked why he was spending time with Lucius, asked why he let Potter and Black push him around. But she never stopped to look back at him and reach out her hand despite his faults.

A single tear ran down his face. Severus Snape’s story was not a happy one. It was the story of a great man, with greater purpose. It was the story of a man with a passion and a dark side.  
And it was the story of a boy who searched for a friend, looked for acceptance. Just like everyone else.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand another Snape piece, this time a less hopeful one.  
> Because really, Severus Snape was one of the most twisted, tragic and thus interesting characters in the books in my opinion.
> 
> There will be lighter pieces in this collection, promise...
> 
> Kudos & Reviews make the author a happy bunny - talk to me about my stories, and I'll ramble back!


End file.
